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In the Name of Allah, The Compassionate, the Merciful.... I didn't die today
by Denis Oakley in , , , ,

I didn't die today.

Nor did my daughter - Maya - Age 3

But it was close.

We were cycling to school and had to cross the last round about. A woman came in from the side and hit us.

Fortunately we managed to stay upright and no harm was done.

Some shakes.

 We survived because:

  • I cycle aggressively. I try to block cars from doing stupid things that may hurt me. I had one behind me on the two lanes approaching the round about - so I moved into the central lane to stop him cutting me up on the round about. That gave me more time and space with the new line round the roundabout to react to the car that hit me.
  • I cycle defensively - I'm always scanning for risks. I saw the car  that hit us - and knew it was moving too fast and I was in trouble 3 - 4 seconds before it happened. That gave me time to take action to protect us.
  • I was signalling - the driver didn't see me or my signal - but it meant that my arm was in a position to give a warning wave. That I think was seen and got the driver to start braking.
  • I shouted - Yep full on Braveheart war cry! Again I'm not sure that it was heard by the car that hit us - but it had two effects - it got people looking at the round about - great to have witnesses. And it released lots of stress hormones into my blood. Great for faster reflexes, strength and pain management
  • I swerved and braked - With a child seat and 12 kg of child in the back evasive actions are difficult. No point being missed by the car - only to be run over as we've lost control!
  • I do lots of core exercise - Big thigh muscles absorbed the impact. Core strength and stability meant that I stayed in control of the bike and didn't go over.
  • God was graceful. Thank you.
As I cycled home I thought about what I should have done to the driver. The most attractive option - which was considered at the time - was to have dragged her out of the car and and started kicking and beating her to death. Carbon bike shoes I thought would do an excellent job in inflicting maximum damage on her face. This would have ended with police pulling me off her and my daughter screaming as she saw her dad being so terribly nasty.

The other option was to respond to it with love. 

And that is what I did. I told the driver off - with a focus on her actions - and the consequences that they had almost had to my daughter - then sent her on her way.

In life we must be grateful for the good things - but not vengeful for the bad ones. Today will change that woman's life. My actions in forgiving her will change her life.

I will not let her make me someone I despise because she has hurt and scared me.

I give good back to the world and hope to make a change 

Today God was compassionate and merciful. 

I didn't die

My daughter didn't die

I made the world a better place

Thank you 


Senay's Number 2 said...

I am very glad, happy, grateful that you or Maya got hurt through this horrid experience.

But if I was there when this happened, in the name of any God, that woman would have had a scar to remember her mistake by.
My love and compassion goes to people who deserve it not those that are careless and reckless and cause danger to harmless people!

When behind wheels, you have no excuse to be mindless! If you are mindless then you have no place in that car seat!

I love you and Maya to death and nothing or no one will get away if they try to cause harm, knowingly or unknowingly....that's my moto in life!

Your loving and frustrated (not to mention pregnant) wife

Senay xxxx

Senay's Number 2 said...

Oops, I meant 'I am very glad, happy, grateful that you and Maya didn't get hurt through this horrid experience'...

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